DEAR ABBY: My mother has become very “spiritual” over the past eight years or so. Recently it has become ubiquitous and on the verge of becoming damaging. She often refers to her “guides” (she says these are feelings, but I think she gets brainwashed by human “guides” online), who convinced her to withdraw thousands of dollars. from his bank before the second wave of COVID-19. .
I recently got engaged. We do not plan to get married until 2022 so that our guests can safely have fun at our wedding. Mom wants to take a “mediumship certification” course, which will last 18 months. The real certification is scheduled for the month we told her we might want to get married, so now she’s trying to blame me for changing the date. She copied me from the email she sent to the teacher in which she said she would try to “ask me to pick a different date”. I let her know that she won’t dictate our wedding day, but is there anything more to work out? – CERTIFIABLY PLEASANT
DEAR PLEASANT: I do not think so. Your mother’s spiritual life is her personal business, and it would be a mistake to try to make it yours. Unless you are convinced that her spirit guides deceived her about the money she took out – in which case you should contact the authorities and report it – let her live her life as you pursue yours.
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DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married for 22 years. They had 22 difficult years, and I’m no longer in love with him. I will not look for another husband if we divorce.
We tried counseling as well as a Homecoming weekend, which was emotionally difficult as we learned a new way of communicating. However, after the weekend, I was still initiating the skills we learned, but not him.
He is retired. I am still working, but nothing is happening in the house. I’m sick of feeling stressed out. I don’t like cleaning up after him and our daughters, and I’m thinking about moving.
I feel overwhelmed and want to live on my own for a while, but something is preventing me from signing a lease. Our daughters are in college and my door will be open to them at all times. Do I have to move? – ON THE EDGE OF TEXAS
DEAR ON THE EDGE: May be. However, before signing anything, including divorce papers, please consider discussing your feelings of stress and being overwhelmed by a licensed psychotherapist. A little time away from your stressors can be helpful for you, and a therapist may be able to help you determine how long it should last before making anything permanent.
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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.