This week on our favorite show, Rich women doing things, boy, have rich women done really rich things for women. They go to wine tasting, which they do at least once a season, and it’s about as exciting for the home team as reading a thriller storyline on Wikipedia. But, hey, just like Cinco de Mayo does for Whites, it gives them an excuse to get pissed off in the middle of a random afternoon. They do paddle yoga in an empty resort pool, which is the richest shit we’ve ever seen, then scream when one of the rich women falls into the pool and ruins her perfect blowout. They play a game of Never Have I Ever on a charter sailboat that includes questions about theft, reunion, and anal sex, sometimes all in the same question.
The craziest thing about Never Have I Ever is when Kathy says, “Never have I ever had sex in a doctor’s office.” Girl, that’s way too specific. It is not a question ; it is only an admission. It’s like, “I never ever blew the high school quarterback behind the school, then I told his girlfriend about it the next day, and his name was Alex Sullivan, and he was blond and his cock was sort of tilted to the left but was still so good and meaty. Ah, only me? Come on, ladies!
Either way, most rich women talk about Erika. At the start of the episode, the women go on a wine tasting tour in a cart, and Erika stays at home to regroup. It gives them a chance not only to make some (perfect, sorry) impressions of her, but also to talk about her incredible story about the crash of Tom and his son who stopped the burglary and then overturned his car. Yes, no one is buying this story. It just looks like something out of a movie, like too crazy to actually happen. And then Kathy Hilton leaves the wine tasting because she has a headache and says something like, “I have headaches now because when I was a kid I was shooting a commercial for Barbie, and I received a very hard blow to the head with a golf ball. Seriously, if it came out of someone else’s mouth, you would spontaneously become the “Of course, Jan” GIF and never go back, like that kid in your high school who took LSD and thought he did. was a glass of orange juice forever.
I’m not saying Erika’s story is plausible. It sounds crazy. But I understand the impulse of women to believe their friend especially because Erika, while refusing, has never been a liar. (And go ahead and call her one and see if you leave the room with all of your numbers.) Dorit says, “We don’t want to push Erika too far, but you sound like an idiot not to pose. of questions. ” Absolutely and I think if women have all of these questions, they should ask Erika about them, just like Geronimo for Kalamazoo surely will at the reunion. I know if she told me this story, I would pull out my meager journalist’s notebook and start talking about Rosalind Russel in his daughter friday. “Child, I have a million questions, you see…” (This is just a reminder that Vulture doesn’t recap meetings anymore, but I will in the Housewives Institute Bulletin, so sign up now.)
I think the women, especially Dorit and Sutton, do a good job of voicing all of the viewers’ questions and concerns in this episode. Like when Erika said that Tom has done a lot of good for a lot of people and none of them are stepping up right now, Dorit and her ravishing ’90s hairstyle of the season say in a confessional, “Yeah , but if he did what he’s accused of doing a lot of bad things too.
Even Kyle starts criticizing Erika in the confessional. When the two go to play pickleball, a gym class game that should come with a mandatory vasectomy for every adult male who plays it, Erika tells Kyle that when the divorce is finalized, she will walk away with nothing, and that ‘she told him lawyer that she expects nothing. Kyle says, “Well the most important thing is that the victims get their money.” Yes, she is right.
But maybe all of that flashback is because they were kissing Erika’s ass so hard when they were having dinner one night. Garcelle said it seemed wrong, and Sutton said, “They want to prove they are his friend rather than asking questions,” and aptly compared the situation to what happened the previous season with Denise. I don’t know if it’s exactly as they said. I think this is a group of friends seeing one of their own going through a rough patch, but she was in a good mood after all. They decided to take this out to give her some breathing space amid all the uproar she is experiencing. I don’t know how to be funny about it, so let’s pretend I made a hilarious joke, and we all laugh. Hahahaha. Oh, Brian. It is a good one.
It seems that women aren’t the only ones who want some peace and quiet. Erika tries, on several occasions, to work things out with Sutton and comes close to apologies. Looks like they’re really on the mend until we get to their confessionals, and Erika says, “I hate her. I was just doing that so as not to ruin the trip,” and Sutton says, “Yeah, thanks for the apologies but i don’t trust her that’s why i think it will be a really interesting reunion because what all the women say to each other and to each other alone on the cameras when they are sipping an evian through a straw in front of a green screen is totally different.
When Erika apologizes to Sutton, she says exactly the right thing, that she’s going through a lot, that she’s angry, that she’s lashed out and that she’s sorry. I just wish she could have followed this more sincerely rather than throwing it in the trash like takeout from last week. I think it’s strange for us Housewives fans because we’ve never really seen someone hate a castmate so irrevocably like Erika seems to hate Sutton. She never tries to pretend they’re going to get along or work to rebuild their friendship. She said “Thanks, then,” and she stole Ariana Grande’s ponytail and added it to the back of some latex pants.
Erika is keenly aware of the situation she finds herself in going through this scandal very publicly. “If I seem like I’m having too good a time, I don’t have any remorse,” she says on their three-hour boat trip, where the only storms are internal. “If I’m a little too handsome, I’m not ashamed. I want to have fun, and I want to laugh, but if I’m laughing too much I’m criticized for it, and if I bow my head in shame, then I’m clearly guilty of something. I can’t win. “No she can’t. Did she handle it perfectly? No. But how do you handle such a thing perfectly? There is no manual for it, and people will come for it. , no matter what she does. Lisa Rinna, the only teammate who has stood up for her all along, said that “Everyone wants her to be like ‘Oh poor victims'” but her lawyers have her said not to do it because even admitting it might make her guilty somehow. I’m sure everyone understands that. I’m sure everyone can sympathize with the fact that she’s going through a tough time even though, yes there are some people going through an even harder time because of Tom Girardi. I’m sure we can all open our hearts and let all the feelings come out of us like the vastness of the ocean rich women can ride on a pirate ship with a blushing captain and a surmount chief ené and have the audacity to think that their cry “I am the king of the world” from the bow is somehow original. Good, Brian. Hahahahaha.